Memory is the reservoir of the soul…we deny our memories at our peril. Memories are the experiences we thread on our journey through life, when the thread is entangled we choose to forget. Unwelcome memories recede to the deepest recesses of the mind, a quiet corner undisturbed where they continue to whisper to us.
The child sexual abuse scandals of the past decade highlighted the social taboo which prevents most survivors from disclosing their experiences. Revelations involving sexual abuse by church clergy of many denominations empowered survivors to speak out, galvanising activist movements. As a trauma therapist of some 40 years experience I observed the key difference between those who engaged with the long and challenging process to emerge healed and those who remained stuck, caught in the unresolved pain which is turned inward. Activism provides a focus for justified anger however unless personal healing is also addressed, activism becomes little more than a funnel through which to vent unresolved resentment.
Trauma is complex and multilayered, there are three main types of trauma: Acute, Chronic, or Complex. Discernment is required to accurately assess the degree in order to negate disempowerment and victim consciousness. Healing is a slow process requiring a safe place in which to address deep seated issues of vulnerability. The aim of therapy is to encourage and empower, addressing not blaming, confronting not avoiding. Anything less creates a prison with the key on the inside.
Life is punctuated with traumatic incidents, providing the means by which we are strengthened in adversity. Traumatic experiences which may result in PTSD are rare and of another order, they include disasters, accidents, combat stress and other forms of violent physical assault. Significance is measured by response rather than by the event itself. It is now recognised that sexual abuse experienced in childhood is the most intractable, whether arising as a result of an isolated incident, or having taken place over many years involving one perpetrator or many.
The natural response to trauma is to recoil, an instinctive fear reaction of self preservation. The most damaging aspect of abuse is the powerlessness which results when there is no apparent means of physical escape. The response is to freeze as the mind retreats to a safe space, resulting in conditions such as Dissasociative Identity Disorder and Attachment Disorder. The Broca’s area in the frontal lobe of the brain is a region responsible for language and speech discovered 150 years ago when it was found to be impaired in stroke patients with speech problems. More recent research confirms broca’s damage in patients who have experienced severe mental or emotional trauma. It is now known that the part of the brain which produces language goes offline during traumatic experience, the sufferer becoming unable to speak. This was first seen in WW1 veterans who became mute after suffering ‘shell shock’.
Sexual abuse remains one of the most harrowing experiences imaginable and the most difficult to prosecute. Latest UK figures show that less than 2% of rapes reported to police resulted in a charge within 1 year. Re-telling the story involves reliving the experience and can result in re-traumatisation as the broca’s area shuts down once more. It is a factor in resisting disclosure and a reason why therapy might not be sought or is discontinued. It is also a contributory factor in low police reporting, the retraction of statements and low rates of prosecution through the courts with survivors who become inarticulate on the stand being viewed as ineffective witnesses.
Human communication is dependent upon language, verbal and non verbal with the deepest wounds suppressed at the sub conscious level, a self protective mechanism. Memories are linked to the senses and can surface spontaneously in many ways, activated by significant images, language, aromas and sound.The link between trauma and abusive language is well documented and rightly embedded in criminal law. Its range has been expanded in recent years to incorporate elements of race and gender. The current ‘Woke’ movement with its focus upon social and political injustice, real or imagined, views the world as a hostile environment, a need to protect the vulnerable being paramount. Currently words or phrases describing abuse are considered to be potential triggers for distressing memories. Social media platforms now arbitrarily abbreviate or delete written or verbal expression in a mistaken effort to avoid trigger words. Sexual abuse becomes becomes ‘s-a’, abuse becomes ‘abs, domestic abuse becomes ‘da’. This is a pointless exercise since the role of the cognitive brain is to interpret communication, it does so by filling in the blanks in order to comprehend what is meant. The abbreviation itself, once recognised is synonymous with the word, defeating the objective. This approach does a diservice to survivors and to the general public.
Our environment is filled with the remembrances of life, impossible to avoid. Music for example can transport us to another time and place, to fond memories or to sad ones; we would not expect that music should not be played in our hearing in case it should trigger a painful memory. The olfactory system is the first to develop in embryo, the sense of smell is a powerful trigger for memory yet we would not and cannot seek to screen out what may prove sensitive to some.
An environment perceived as threatening is predicated on fear and triggers an adrenalin response, the ‘fight or flee’ protective reaction. Where the belief system accepts a flawed reality of persistent external threat, biology takes over and a cyclical automatic response to perceived danger results. The self protective mechanism which ensures adrenalin is available in an emergency, becomes an addictive reaction impacting the autonomic system, resulting in auto immune disorders. We become in effect adrenalin junkies unknowingly hooked on our own hormones.
Where males are viewed as potential aggressors, traditional masculine traits become red flags of ‘toxin masculinity’. Clearly all males are not aggressors, the perception is therefore flawed. An unfortunate consequence is that fear creates vulnerability and victim consciousness, the means by which predators recognise and target their prey, a self fulfilling prophecy. With the advent of social media, activist groups provided an effective forum of support and encouragement. The ‘Me Too’ movement led by prominent influential figures, raised awareness of the issues, helping to bring several high profile perpetrators to justice. The power of collective action provides a focus for pent up anger and rage yet can distract from the need to address unresolved personal pain. The battle then becomes the focus, an equally addictive even vengeful process promoting victim consciousness.
It is not possible to heal the wounds of the soul through activism alone. True healing is a work in progress involving the external and the internal, only when both are in sync is healing achieved; it requires that we address the personal wounds long denied. Even the most negative experiences of abuse can be overcome without activism but are impossible to overcome without addressing inner healing. Many survivors never disclose their experience of abuse but focus their energy externally, frequently as therapists drawing upon the well of experience.
Carl Jung, the founder of analytical psychology cautioned that rather than seeking to avoid, we should acknowledge and confront our inner fears to “make the darkness conscious” a process of integrating the conscious and the unconscious.
“Filling the conscious mind with ideal conceptions is a characteristic of Western theosophy, but not the confrontation with the shadow and the world of darkness. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious. The later procedure however is disagreeable and therefore not popular.” Carl Jung: The Philosophical Tree (1945)
See also: Trauma – Real and Perceived